“I prefer the buffet in my dining room.”

Pull out those forgotten matador lamps from the attic with those pink ruffled shades, the ones worn as hats by your drunken relatives on New Years Eve. Have I got the perfect center piece for you!

Someone sent me a notice of an auction featuring a “Bernard Buffet” purportedly by Elmyr. The subject: a butterfly. Now, I’ve become accustomed to seeing many garish works sporting the name “Elmyr” scribbled by third-graders for the pleasure of discerning art lovers. However, I believe they have not yet invented a unit of measurement small enough to assign the chances of this painting actually being by Elmyr, or, at least, by the Elmyr de Hory I knew.

Elmyr and I were guests on a yacht (well, a small ocean liner) while in Capri. The owner bought it from Buffet and it still had some Buffet oils hanging inside. Looking them over for a moment, Elmyr turned to our host and said “If these came with the yacht, I hope you got it at a reduced price!” Not only did he loathe Buffet, he was at a loss to understand why anyone would buy his work. I’m sure he thought no self-respecting bordello owner would cheapen it by having a Buffet on its walls. He also told our host “I prefer the buffet in my dining room.” Just trying to put this in proper perspective.

About elmyrstory

Mark Forgy is currently completing a forthcoming memoir about Elmyr and my life with him, entitled, "The Forger's Apprentice: Life with the World's Most Notorious Artist."
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